Tuesday, 25 November 2008

Memories

Around a month ago, I visited the apartment in which my maternal grandparents used to live. (The photos in this post were taken during my visit.) When my grandmother passed away in 2005, the flat remained uninhabited. Nobody has lived there since that time. Most of the furniture was left untouched. Even certain dry food items in the kitchen were left there. When I went there, it felt as though someone was still living there.

During my late teens, it was very common to spend Christmas Day with my maternal grandparents inside that apartment. My aunt used to join us and we always had a wonderful time, eating a delicious cake that only my grandmother knew how to prepare and exchanging countless funny tales! Any gifts were obviously welcome! :)



As I walked through the apartment, so many memories came rushing back from my mind's archives. I thought about my grandfather, who passed away in the year 2001. His brother had kicked the bucket only a few months before him. I visualised my grandmother, always ready to offer me some tea or something to eat. I saw myself on the scarlet sofas, laughing my head off, free of any worries, enjoying several Christmas Days...

The apartment belongs to the Government. The latter is expected to reclaim it by the end of this year. I wanted to visit the place before entry will no longer be possible.

As I left the apartment, I felt as though a thick chapter of my life was coming to an end. That place represented the source of so many happy memories. Walking through it without seeing the faces that I was used to seeing there filled the place with sadness. I left with a very heavy heart.

Christmas Day is exactly one month away. Talking about memories, during this time of the year, I cannot help thinking about my mom. Even though she passed away in 2006, I still think about her quite frequently. She was a stubborn person, but extremely loving. To her, Christmas was that time of the year during which one ought to do his/her utmost to transform this world into a better place.

Since she passed away, whatever was left of my biological family broke into several fragments. Since then, my wife and I always wonder where and with whom we might be able to spend Christmas Day. How different things would be if she were still here! She would probably still be calling almost daily to see how my day was, to see that my wife and I are fine, to make sure that we do not need anything...

My mind is packed with several wonderful memories of events shared with my mother. Having said this, almost whenever I think about her, my thoughts frequently go back to the last few months she spent here. Her pain as she struggled with cancer. The terribly cold night my wife and I spent with her at Boffa Hospital only a few days before she passed away. The times when she asked me to give her something to drink and I could not do so since she could no longer ingest anything. Imagine how you would feel if you could barely help a person who had devoted many years to making sure that you never went hungry, cold, penniless!

It is quite fascinating to think about the ability that human beings have to recall memories. They can make us feel enormously happy, but they can also reduce us to tears.

4 comments:

Michael Carøe Andersen said...

That is some heavy stuff of sad endings mixed with good memories. Especially the house thats been empty for 3 years I find eerie and yet a very interesting and unique chance you have had to relive those moments and places.

Anonymous said...

Agree 100%, dont give up!

Annemarie said...

Your goodbye visit to your grandparents' flat is something I had done myself years ago. However, I had visited the flat (also a government flat) after it was emptied of its furniture...still how many memories...
Your memories of your mother are very sad, indeed, I think the worst part of growing older /becoming adults is having to go through such experiences.
I hope you have a special Xmas with your wife, you are not only a couple you are also a family, and a very nice one too! All the best.

Red said...

Thanks a lot for the nice comments! :)